Kaffir Boy Journal #9 On Racial Relations

The bloody whites are really pissing us off even more. We have so much hate toward them, that even though I said not all whites aren’t as bad, but this and the fact that those who are against the apartheid are not actually doing anything about the government and what they have done. If they were really not against us, why in the world did they not do anything about this? Instead those whites ran away. This really brought back hatred against the whites, and all of them. We’ll my grandma’s boss Mrs. Smith, is still helping get a scholarship in tennis so that I could go school in America or a really good school here in South Africa. But at this rate, I don’t want to stay here anymore. I have to get a scholarship to get out of this hell place. I didn’t make it in the newspaper for having passed my exam. When I went to discuss this issue with the principal, another student waiting to do the same thing shouted that the whites were trying to down play them. And that they didn’t want the rest of the blacks to succeed and be part of the fight against the White laws and Apartheid organization group, and I could see how that could fit in with why I didn’t make it in the newspaper even though I passed all the subjects except Tsonga. Ugh everything was just going wrong in my life. Am pretty sure in others too, but this was an opportunity to travel and spread what was going on in the ghettos of South Africa. Sometimes I wonder why blacks were the ones chosen to be slaved and mistreated and under authority under whites. Why did the whites get to have everything they wanted and the blacks were here to suffer? I also wonder was that the reason we came into this earth, to suffer. This God that my mother believes in, the white God why wasn’t he doing anything about this mess? Oh then I remembered, he is the White man’s God. How could I forget such a matter? Wow I can’t my mother is worshipping a white man’s God who is against blacks, since we are suffering even though I know people have and are praying to him. He isn’t answering our prayers but is answering the white people’s prayer. Ugh I hate this world. I feel like am living in hell.