Kaffir Boy Journal #4 On violence/Abuse

There are junkyard children who smoking benzene and glue. These boys are only my age. They are only 11, 12, 13 year olds. These children are runaways. They had run away from home and school. So what they do is smoke benzene, get involved with prostitution activities to get money and go to movies during the day and sleep in abandon cars. I don’t know why but there life seems really interesting. Their life is full of adventures and I love adventures. Their life seems so comfortable. They don’t have to worry about being beaten for not paying their schools fees on time or having their books at school on time. They can do whatever they want whenever they want. But I don’t like that they are abusing their bodies with smoking on some dangerous stuff. I don’t think I will ever do that in my life. The way they look after they smoke those things is kind of scary.
Oh my how could I forget the nightmare I saw. I was walking home one evening when there was a gang of men walking toward this guy who had a bag full of things inside. I ran for cover and I saw all the bad things that could happen. It’s not like I haven’t seen people dead before, but the way this guy died is what was so painful. Why were black people killing other black people? Black people’s anger is what is taking over their minds and body. Anyway the guy who died was attacked by stabbing and cutting of the body by a knife. I heard the man dying saying “please don’t kill me, I have kids at home I have to support,” but the men were just laughing and even more triggered to kill him it seems. I was so traumatized. When I got home, I could not even tell my mother what I just saw. Then I fainted and woke up the next morning. But when I woke up, I still could not tell her what I saw, it still couldn’t come out of my mouth. The though of black people killing other black people to make themselves feel accomplished, it was just very heartbreaking. I think it’s because they feel if they see someone with more things then they do they maybe feel they should go away from this world. I just hope this thing of blacks being poor ends soon. My mother told me that that same night I saw the nightmare, several other people died too.