Kaffir Boy Journal #5 On weird behaviors

Why was everything spinning? Why was there fire and beast looking things around me? Why was it that I was the only person to see these weird things? Why is it only happening to me? Maybe I have a bad spirit. Maybe the witches have put a curse on me. Either way I couldn’t understand what was happening to me and I just know that I’m scared to death when things like these happen, but no one can stop them from happening. I would have episodes were I feel like I’m being choked, or the room would spin like a whirlwind then fire would come from gyrating objects which developed huge mouths and began laughing at me. It was a roaring laugh that would make my head feel like my head split in two. These things would enlarge, stretch, and shrink, into all sorts of grotesque, shifting monsters trying to swallow me alive. Then all of a sudden, these scary looking things would burst into flames. I would tell me mother that there was a fire but she would tell me there wasn’t. I would try a duck every time there was a red hot plank from the ceiling coming toward me and still my mother couldn’t see all that I was seeing. My mother poured cold water on me then everything began to stop spinning and the fire was gone. It was just a horrible and terrifying episode. I just hope I don’t have to go through again. The one where I felt like someone was choking me wasn’t really an episode but I really felt like someone was trying to choke me alive. What felt like a human choking me was actually poison gas from the brazier my mother left in the house over night because it was so cold outside. I inhaled so much of the gas, it was clogging my airways.
I’m not the only one who has weird behaviors. My mother had one too. My mother found a box with a dead baby in it. My mother screamed and she would shout “get away from me, Satan!” My mother would back away from the box like it was a ghost, and she would tremble from head to toe. My mom stood there pointing to the box like a zombie unable to say a word, her face a mask of indescribable horror. I thought it was weird but would probably do the same if I was the one who found the dead baby girl in a box.