Kaffir Boy Journal #5 On the day King died

What was going on today? The day was such a sad mournful afternoon. It was like the world was coming to an end. I had no idea what was going on. I had just come from school. The paper guys were shouting ‘KING IS DEAD,’ I was wondering what was going on, I decided to ask a boy who was standing at a gate. I thought to myself, another white man was behind this mess. He told me that a preacher and a leader who was assassinated by a white man. I was also told that this man lived in America fighting for black rights, that me ferocious toward white people. It seems that the cause of all black people was cause of the white people. It’s a battle between races. When will it stop? When will killing one another stop? Why are the white people the major part what happens to us blacks? I really hate this world. It’s always seems that nothing is getting better but just getting worse. I even considered suicide because it seemed everything was just going wrong in my life. As I was considering suicide, I had thoughts run through my head like, would anyone miss me? Would anyone know that I was even gone? What would happen if I had died? Would people bury me or just throw me away. But before I could even finish what I was about to accomplish, my mother came in. She saw that I had a knife in my hand. I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. I felt so ashamed and sad that she saw me like this. She told me everything I needed to hear to never consider suicide again. She told me things like if I died, she would miss me, my brother and sisters wouldn’t have anyone to look up to as their big brother. I had a job to do and that was to protect my brother and sisters and let them look up to me.
I felt like I was needed and I felt special. My mother always had the right things to say to me and that’s why I love her so much. She is the best mother someone could ever have. I don’t know where I would be if she didn’t come at that minute that I was going to end my life. I hope that I don’t disappoint her In the future. I am so thankful of my mother.